r/WhitePeopleTwitter 14d ago Helpful 5 Wholesome 5 Silver 3 Take My Energy 1 Bless Up (Pro) 1

Who makes you feel unsafe?

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79.0k Upvotes

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u/AfternoonPast3324 14d ago Gold Wholesome

I was nervous & had my guard up around the first person I ever knew for a fact was gay while I was in the army. But only in our first interaction. Then I actually met him and he became one of my best friends during my time in Germany. I was then able to acknowledge that I was an idiot for never even considering that a gay person was nothing more than a person, who just so happened to be gay.

Conversely, growing up black in the rural south was like constantly navigating a minefield of straight conservative christian men.

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u/Tdanger78 14d ago

Some of my best friends in the Army were gay. This was in the late 90s.

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u/JennysLittleSecret 14d ago

Shhhh

you're not supposed to tell!

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u/rootbeerman77 14d ago edited 14d ago

We didn't ask first so it's okay for them to tell

Edit: I've been lawyered into withdrawing my affirmation. How dare you!

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u/No-Welcome9711 14d ago

It's not called "don't ask, do tell" though

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u/rootbeerman77 14d ago

Touché... I withdraw my affirmation and have edited my comment

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u/fryswitdat 14d ago

I think it should be called "Touche, do tell though".

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u/jedileo7 14d ago

Underappreciated comment

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u/noteven1221 14d ago

Appreciate hearing that. In the early 80s it was a very different scene.

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u/Tdanger78 14d ago

It was still like that to a degree in the 90s. If you were combat arms you still had to be careful because there was a chance it wouldn’t go well for you.

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u/Winter-Channel-3849 14d ago

Clinton signed don't ask, don't tell into law. American service members could get chaptered for being openly gay up until 2011.

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u/RGC-WHISKEYY 14d ago

I will never forget when it lifted. We had this black Chief that talked in a deep voice and his life outside of work was an utter mystery. He came in that day and I swear rainbows and butterflies followed him. I mean full on sitcom gay and it was absolutely glorious. Cracked me up all the people that swore by the man suddenly wrestling with inner demons and confliction. Not a single person dared say anything against him. Not because of him but because they knew the rest of us would stick up for him no matter what. Miss that man that and my other bear friend that was the best wingman a straight guy could ask for and taught me the secrets of massages. Funnily enough I learned more life lessons in the navy from my gay shipmates then anyone else 😂

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u/Tdanger78 14d ago

They could get chaptered but that doesn’t mean their fellow soldiers wouldn’t beat the shit out of them. Infantry were especially bad about that.

Edit: had to fix autocorrects

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u/Cultjam 14d ago

I remember military and conservative leaders fighting that tooth and nail.

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u/TheAmericanMutt 14d ago

Protect Dorothy!

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u/Darw1nner 14d ago

Thank you for sharing your story! I wish everyone who is worried about the LGBTQIA+ community could see how easy it is on the other side—once you get past your fears. Even my mom—a socialist hippy—was initially opposed to “gay marriage.” Fast forward 20 years, and she doesn’t have a concern in the world (except that her friends’ marriages should be respected). There is nothing to fear. You will be able to live your life however you want. Don’t let others tell you to be afraid.

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u/aethelredisready 14d ago

My mom told me homosexuality was an illness and that having a gay child would be “devastating”. Fast forward 30 years and she’s hanging out with her lesbian boss and all of her lesbian couple friends and protesting prop 8.

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u/Darw1nner 14d ago

I think we are long lost spirit siblings! I was so happy to see my mom shed her prejudice. And once it was gone, there was never any reason at all for it to come back.

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u/Usasuke 14d ago

Just wanted to throw out there that this gay dude really appreciated your story. Makes me happy to hear

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u/ameinolf 14d ago

Humans are humans

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u/gramerjen 14d ago

They all taste the same

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u/eun_vasillos 14d ago

especially those self proclaimed alpha men. they take objectifying to the next level.

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u/JGauth13 14d ago

As soon as the words “alpha male” come out of a man’s mouth I nope TF outta there - that’s literally all I need to know about them 🙄

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u/Maebure83 14d ago

"My ego is overly inflated, fragile, and I treat everyone like shit."

That's how I translate it.

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u/JGauth13 14d ago

Exactly - As a woman, in my head it translates to “women are objects and I will not respect your thoughts, opinions, or goals”

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u/mydaycake 14d ago

And I won’t care if you have an orgasm or not

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u/ggtffhhhjhg 14d ago

Getting a woman off is one of the best parts off sex.

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u/bobone77 14d ago

As a man, any man who calls himself an alpha certainly is not one.

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u/Murica-n_Patriot 14d ago

Declaring yourself “alpha male” is one of the weakest things I think any dude could say. It encapsulates every possible insecurity. And frankly, If you just have to say it then it’s probably not true…

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u/NotAzakanAtAll 14d ago

Expectation: "I am alpha."

Reality: "I hit my girlfriend."

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u/Ok_Island_1306 14d ago

I got into a drunken conversation with someone I met at a friends house a few weeks ago, he was VERY drunk. He kept referring to us both as alpha males. It made me rather uncomfortable and honestly he didn’t seem very alpha to me. I’ve never considered myself an alpha male

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u/mycathateme 14d ago Helpful

Next time whip your dick out and pee on him to assert your dominance and unleash your inner alpaca... I mean alpha.

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u/singingballetbitch 14d ago

Spit in their eye to assert yourself as the dominant llama

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u/hey_rowsdower 14d ago edited 14d ago

Shave your body hair to make an overpriced sweater. That'll show him who rules the Andes.

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u/JGauth13 14d ago

The whole alpha and beta thing is ridiculous - it’s a good thing that that convo made you uncomfortable…it means that you’re a normal human that doesn’t have to feel superior or create some fucked up testosterone fueled hierarchy to validate yourself

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u/itsadesertplant 14d ago

It’s also incorrect, and the scientist who came up with it admitted as such. Wolves forced in enclosures who don’t know each other exhibit unnatural behaviors, while wolves in the wild are typically in cooperative family groups without such a strict hierarchy. But “alpha” and “beta” mythology lives on

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u/Glass_Memories 14d ago edited 14d ago

L. David Mech is the biologist in question. Wolves used to be almost extinct so biologists could only really observe them in captivity, that's when he wrote “The Wolf: Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species" back in 1970. Since wolves have made a comeback and we have things like GPS trackers, he's changed his theories to reflect the new, more accurate information of how wolves really behave in the wild.

Because people have been misusing the now disproven "alpha" concept in recent years, he's been trying to get his old book pulled from circulation, but the publisher refuses. He has an article on his webpage about it.

https://davemech.org/wolf-news-and-information

Why people would assume that human social structure or behavior is anything like a wolves' in the first place can't be placed on him tho.

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u/CocoaCali 14d ago

We have a dude who's world famous for comparing humans to lobsters. Some people just ain't bright.

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u/Glass_Memories 14d ago

Yep, we also have an entire culture of people who think that eating soy will turn you into a woman based on a study on sheep in the 1940's. Here's a video debunking that: The Truth About Soy Boys - hbomberguy

The entire MRA/PUA, gym bro, and manosphere is riddled with pseudoscientific rubbish to suit their agenda. I Debunked the Entire Manosphere - münecat

As far as JP, he's in that crowd of nutters but he's also a fascist propagandist. Got a 3hr long video just for calling out all his bullshit. A Brief Look At Jordan Peterson - Some More News

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u/aethelredisready 14d ago

Please someone tell Cesar Milan

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u/JGauth13 14d ago

Thank you for saying this - I read about that recently and it’s my favorite thing to bring up whenever the “alpha” and “beta” words start flying - you can actually see they “alpha’s” brain break when you tell them 🤣

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u/natFromBobsBurgers 14d ago

testosterone fueled

I got a bunch of testosterone fueled friends. None of them use 20 year old memes to make themselves feel better about transitioning.

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u/effemerides 14d ago Gold

testosterone fueled, but with ~precision!~

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u/JGauth13 14d ago

…and they’re not the problem 💖 the behavior and archetype I was describing is, however, testosterone fueled.

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u/Absolutely_N0t 14d ago

I’ve never considered myself “alpha” or “beta” or some shit. I’m just a dude

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u/heartofdawn 14d ago

The men who are crude, bug-ridden and should not be released to the public

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u/liege_paradox 14d ago

I love this interpretation of it. If I ever meet someone who refers to themself like that, I’m using it. I don’t care if I get punched.

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u/AlarmDozer 14d ago

Yeah, it’s basically “alpha male”=“toxic masculinity,” and probably just a bully.

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u/N3G4T1V_2 14d ago

Where are my theta males at

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u/JGauth13 14d ago

This made me giggle 🤭 thank you

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u/N3G4T1V_2 14d ago

Always good to know i made someone smile, you're welcome.

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u/930reef 14d ago

And are ironically more homoerotic than the actual gay people they profess to hate.

For the record, I think there is nothing wrong with homoeroticism if that's what you enjoy. Live your life and love whomever you want. I just want people to be happy. I'm just pointing it out because those assholes think homoeroticism is wrong.

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u/veringo 14d ago

They do think it’s wrong. It’s done to humiliate and dominate whoever is on the receiving end.

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u/AlarmDozer 14d ago

Yeah, they oddly share more homoeroticism; it’s like “bro, have you listened to what you’ve shared?” Of course, listening isn’t really one of their strong skills so…

I also agree. Nothing wrong with healthy love and healthy kinks.

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u/jazza2400 14d ago

Alpha wolf screams insecurities. To be a good man/person has nothing to do with wolves. Like be kind to others, help those in need, don't be a dick etc etc.

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u/effemerides 14d ago

All these assholes are really cramping the style of us guys who just like wolves because wolves are cool.

I'm not trying to imply anything about myself or society! It's not a metaphor! Fuck off, and let me enjoy my wild animals!

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u/AnonBubblyBowels 14d ago

There’s no such thing as an alpha among wolves either.

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u/theunbearablebowler 14d ago

As a gay man, I often feel unsafe around conservative cishet women.

Funny how that works.

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u/visualparadise 14d ago

I agree. As gay cis white man, most conservative white woman are very rude to me.

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u/Tight_Fold_2606 14d ago

I’m a brown dude who’s lived all over this country. That’s the only group of people that’s ever randomly threatened my life completely unprovoked

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u/HomebrewHedonist 14d ago

Really sorry to hear that. I wish this wasn't common, but unfortunately it is.

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u/HelloJoeyJoeJoe 14d ago

Now imagine them but with the power of life or death over you, ala the police.

This is why I pay so much money to live in a blue area.

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u/Tight_Fold_2606 14d ago

The police are included in that group of experiences. And I was 12 at the time.

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u/Miami_Beach_Man 14d ago

I'm a quiet brown straight dude who used to hate going partying until I found gay clubs.

Music is fantastic and I feel completely safe that there won't be any fighting or racist shit going down. Even if those things happened some of those gay dudes are shredded!

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u/cjared242 14d ago

I’m afraid of people with confederate flags but if I was a girl I’d def be afraid of incels/tate fans

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u/S4T4NICP4NIC 14d ago

What's concerning is that people are displaying confederate flags in other countries. But I'm not really surprised. That kind of cancer knows no borders.

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u/aethelredisready 14d ago

Like ppl here flying third reich flags

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u/Jingurei 14d ago

Pretty sure you know that they’re in Canada now given the ‘freedom convoy’. 🙄

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u/ActualBacchus 14d ago

When I was a kid it probably just meant Dukes of Hazzard fans. Now though, it's racism. (Aotearoa New Zealand)

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u/sjdjdkkfs 14d ago

Incels and Tate fans are the same thing.

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u/ResponsibleAd3652 14d ago

All tate fans are incels, a good portion of incels are tate fans but not all

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u/FoxesInBoxes_ 14d ago

What's a tate fan? Honestly don't know, but I'm guessing it doesn't have anything to do with potatoes (we call them 'tates around here sometimes)

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u/Bake_My_Beans 14d ago

To add to the other replies you've gotten, he has unambiguously advocated for men to beat the women they're with to keep them in line, as well as grabbing them by the neck and telling them to shut up to control them. Overall he has the vibe of a man that's never had a consentual relationship of any kind with a woman.

He's the embodiment of toxic masculinity and inceldom and his fanboys worship the ground he walks on because he's rich and pays women to pose with him

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u/AnonBubblyBowels 14d ago

Andrew Tate, pretty extreme MRA/incel type who explicitly advocates for violence against women, and has an assortment of violent accusations about him.

Unsurprisingly, he’s also racist and homophobic too.

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u/Cartman4wesome 14d ago

A former MMA fighter, now influencer who ran to Romania to escape child sex trafficking charges.

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u/emmit76 14d ago

Kickboxer, not MMA.

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u/Quinten_MC 14d ago

You've gotten his origin story, now let me tell you why he has fans.

He keeps talking about how women are objects, they belong in the kitchen, a woman's job is to please her man, etc.

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u/BEniceBAGECKA 14d ago

Andrew Tate. Be prepared, dudes insane.

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u/-WhiteOleander 14d ago

A friend of mine, a gorgeous guy (conventionally very attractive) who is also very nice and sweet and has always had girlfriends became a Tate fan recently when his girlfriend cheated on him. It's sad. He's still nice as a friend but I've definitely noticed a change.

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u/ConnieLingus24 14d ago

Yeah, but he’s sounds pretty shitty to half the population.

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u/Kribble118 14d ago

I think this is a squares are rectangles type situation where all Andrew Tate fans are incels but not all incels are Tate fans

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u/SaturnAdjourns 14d ago

I’m a woman and I’m afraid of both.

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u/ray25lee 14d ago

I'm white and I don't trust anyone with a confederate flag; put that shit in a museum so we can laugh at it and learn to do better, like we're supposed to.

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u/Toastedguy200 14d ago

As a bi-man I find both disgusting. How people can be behind that fake "alpha" dbag or how people can support a symbol of hate I don't know. I'm worried for the future. I'm from TX and if I have to hear it's about history not racism one more time I'm gonna lose it.

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u/DorShow 14d ago Take My Energy

As a gray haired old lady… this is very true of my experience.

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u/mike_pants 14d ago

As a straight, middle-aged man who enjoys makeup, it's not the LGBTQ Mafia that's hurling the F-word at me.

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u/Beowulf1896 14d ago

Relabel make up as war paint. Fact, historically men wear face paint and make up. Did the 1800's not happen?

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u/Beginning_Ball9475 14d ago

100%. Ever since I went bald and started wearing wigs to deal with the boredom of looking the exact same every day, I realized cosmetics for men are actually really fucking fun. I have a hard time believing that men find Khal Drogo or Kratos feminine for their makeup. I guess the solution is be so terrifyingly muscular that remarking negatively on the makeup doesn't seem like such a free lunch anymore.

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u/PinoForest 14d ago

did 90% of modern male celebrities not happen?

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u/TemetNosce85 14d ago

"Men in makeup are preying on your kids!" - Says man in makeup while sitting in front of a news camera

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u/AlarmDozer 14d ago

Every man on film, tv, and theater has a makeup artist even if it’s just them.

I, as a cishet man, was a test dummy for my ex’s makeup applications, and I didn’t mind it one bit.

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u/MPLooza 14d ago

Did their "favorite" president not happen? Guy puts on clown makeup every time he's in public, do they pretend that unnatural orange glow is just his skin tone?

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u/cultured_banana_slug 14d ago

One calls you Fabulous and the other... well.

Yeah.

Fabulous is better. <3

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u/Hot_Dimension_4035 14d ago

This grey haired old lesbian has had the same experience.

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u/SinVerguenza04 14d ago

Amen. Gay and trans people are being themselves. You don’t find that energy in straight Christian men.

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u/ManOfEating 14d ago

That's because a lot of their religion is based around not being yourself or you'll go to hell.

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u/FordBeeblebrox 14d ago

They quite literally tell you to avoid even being near “worldly” things because it will eventually lead to you accepting them and *gasp maybe even trying yourself!

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u/peggles727 14d ago Take My Energy

I like to tell them Jesus died for my sins and if I don't sin then he died for nothing. My strong morals and my fear of going to prison are what I rely on, not a book written by bunch of dead people trying to understand what we consider basic science today.

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u/ManOfEating 14d ago

Thats actually what Rasputin said to the Russian nobility in order to do orgies lol. If you don't sin, he died for nothing, and in sinning, his sacrifice brings you closer to him, so the more you sin and repent, the closer you are to him and god, and that he died for us to be happy indulging in our humanly desires and pleasures. Go and fulfill your true potential, have orgies with rich people.

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u/foolishDoughnut 14d ago

My not-to-long-ago ancestors fled Russia during the revolution. We can’t find many precise details on them, but I wonder what they thought about this dude.

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u/Miss_Smokahontas 14d ago

That Rasputin was.... something else

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u/smellslikeflour 14d ago

Another dyed hair olderlady...me too.

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u/JDaleFranklin 14d ago

I haven’t see many headlines reporting on the epidemic of Drag Queens raping kids. I have, however, read many headlines reporting on members of religious hierarchy ( white straight men) raping kids.

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u/mike_pants 14d ago

(thinks hard)

Probably a coincidence.

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u/FlamingHotdog77 14d ago

(gets hard)

Oops, almost late for my job at church!

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u/Dirtstick 14d ago

Try not to do a whole lotta raping while you’re there, FlamingHotdog77.

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u/Unicorn_Arcane 14d ago

And you KNOW it would be all over the news if drag queens were caught doing anything. Just another way to pit the people against eachother.

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u/bobbery5 14d ago

And in the few cases of Drag Queens doing bad things, they are immediately hoisted out and held accountable. Ex: Sherry Pie

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u/WhyIsThatOnMyCat 14d ago

Yep.

yeet even someone like Lucy Couture. Piss off. You get it on small YouTube channels like Camp Wanakiki. The queer community is laser fast when problematic behavior shows up.

Meanwhile....Trump, the old adult diaper man walking into teens changing at his gross beauty pageant, and bragging about it. It increases his support.

Fuck the conservatives. Lying assholes.

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u/Lhinhar 14d ago

Christians believes their god will forgive them anyways if they apologize to god but not the victims they raped or did wrong to.

Someone told me once "I choose christianity because I can sin monday to saturday, then on sunday I ask god to forgive me and boom! I am forgiven and I can do it again on monday to saturday", hence why I found my path as an Alchemist than any religions.

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u/t8tor 14d ago

If something is sinful on Sunday, it should be sinful the rest of the week.

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u/Lhinhar 14d ago

Not according to zealous christians. Trust me, I lived under an bible thumping parents that believes it. They truly believes god absolves them of everything if they "repent" on only sunday when they sin all week and only on sunday they "don't sin at all". Pure hypocrisy at it's best.

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u/t8tor 14d ago

I Have a suspicion that Christian’s aren’t Christian

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u/Malijaffri 14d ago edited 13d ago

Really? That's absurd! Even Islam, which Christians like to vilify so much, has a rule that God can forgive almost any sin against Him; but wouldn't forgive anyone who did something to another person, without that person's prior forgiveness.

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u/rabidhamster87 14d ago

Yeah. I was raised Christian and none of the churches we ever went to mentioned anything about needing the person you've wronged to forgive you. It was only ever about getting an imaginary man in the sky's forgiveness. In hindsight, I guess that explains why so many Christians are so bad at apologies or admitting when they were wrong.

The Islam way seems much healthier for the community.

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u/Malijaffri 14d ago

That said, lots of Muslims still think that they can do whatever they want and be forgiven.

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u/rabidhamster87 14d ago

That's a bummer. Guess religion itself really is the problem.

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u/Lhinhar 14d ago

I believe religions is actually 99% of the World's issues and mental illinesses we're seeing today. To be afraid of god watching over you is to be fearful of living your own life.

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u/cultured_banana_slug 14d ago

Conservative babbleheads are just jealous that the Drag Queens are legally allowed within 500 feet of children.

Unlike the conservative babbleheads.

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u/RenegadeDoughnut 14d ago

years ago i shared a gym locker room occasionally with a transwoman (we had fairly similar gym schedules) one time i gave her a spare hair elastic! and she said she liked my shoes! how will i ever recover from these traumatising interactions? /s

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u/HotSauceRainfall 14d ago

A few years ago I came across a person dressed en femme (did not ask how they identified, don't care) and the first words out of my mouth literally seconds after seeing them were, "Oh my god I LOVE YOUR SHOES."

Once I'd broken the ice and the awkwardness, a third person in the car care center waiting area allowed that she loved those shoes too, and we all had a fun conversation after that. Although I will say that to this day, I'm deeply sad that I am far too lazy to be that stylish and well-turned-out at 9am on a Saturday.

It must be something about shoes, then, because what else could be going on?

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u/Beginning_Ball9475 14d ago

My friend was telling me about his breakup and how his girlfriend didn't listen to him and that's part of the reason they broke up and I cut him off to tell him how nice his shoes were. I brought the conversation back to his broken heart afterwards, but when you admire a person's shoes, you really have to seize the moment, you know?

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u/S4T4NICP4NIC 14d ago

I cut him off to tell him how nice his shoes were

"Oh, these old things? I think I got 'em on sale at Dick's." - me

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u/Beginning_Ball9475 14d ago

His reply was literally "lmao I bought them at Kmart for like $20." I was like "Money well spent."

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u/Afraid-String 14d ago

I’m in the military. I’ve had to be naked or close to naked in front of a lot of other women who are part of the LGBTQ+ community and never once felt like I was unsafe. I’ve been fully clothed with a group of men and texted my sister and husband my location though.

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u/Pm_me_baby_pig_pics 14d ago

When I was in college, it was my classmate’s birthday, so we all went to all the places he liked and wanted to go to celebrate him. (He is gay).

We rounded out the evening at his favorite club, and I’d never been to a gay bar before, and towards the end of the evening I realized I drank more than I probably should have, and then the panic all set in like it had in previous straight bars and clubs I’d been in. And it took me a good minute to realize that nobody here was just waiting on me to get drunk to rape me. Nobody was waiting on me to be drunk and try to call a cab just to offer me a ride home and instead take me not home and do what they wanted. I didn’t have to have a friend go with me to the bathroom because we didn’t need to travel in groups. That just wasn’t it at a place like this. I was actually safe here. People wanted to dance with me because it was fun to dance with my clumsy gangly ass, not because maybe they could try and get it to lead to something more.

I was safe. It wasn’t a spoken thing, it just was. It’s the one time I’ve felt truly safe drinking outside of my home.

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u/Not-CIA1776 14d ago

Men are scary, I’m a bisexual guy. I was down in Key West pride week, pride month just trying to have a good time. As soon as night hit on the Friday or Saturday, I’ve never feared for my life and tried to get out of a place sooner. There were men, drugged and raped passed out with their ass out in ally ways. Dudes would come up to me and try to touch me drunk. Wouldn’t take no for an answer.

In the same vein, I don’t tell many people in person I’m bisexual. Bigoted straight men think I’m trying to have sex with them and call me gay. I just do my own thing and stay in my own lane now.

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u/Worry_Ok 14d ago

I've collapsed drunk at the end of the night in a gay friend's bed multiple times. Not only did I not feel unsafe for a second, they also woke up long before me and tended to my hangover. Gay bars are no joke, fuckers can drink. And can also take 'no' for an answer in the overwhelming majority of cases.

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u/RunsWithApes 14d ago

This may be anecdotal but statistically women have WAY more to fear from straight, conservative Christian men as well.

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u/Kafshak 14d ago

I mean, there are a lot more straight men than gay ones.

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u/Glass_Memories 14d ago

I agree with you, but you can't say something is anecdotal and statistical at the same time. An anecdote is your personal experience, statistics are based on a dataset.

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u/RunsWithApes 14d ago

Yes I understand the distinction. I'm saying that even though her example is anecdotal it's also statistically accurate.

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u/Glass_Memories 14d ago

Oh, you meant this as in what the OOP said in the Twitter image. Gotcha.

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u/BulbouszItuin 14d ago

Should straight conservative, Christian men ever decide they were interested in anything that women thought, this insight could be a starting point towards inward reflection and personal growth for them.

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u/mike_pants 14d ago

Women... thinking?

Looks we gots some books to get alightin.

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u/JGauth13 14d ago

This made me giggle more than it should have

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u/OhKillEm43 14d ago

Isn’t women thinkin one of them oxymoron thangs anyways?

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u/playnbagpipesonatank 14d ago

I feel like I should be more offended, as a straight Christian dude, but too many of the fundamentalists have ruined everything.

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u/S4T4NICP4NIC 14d ago

If you haven't already, you should check out the book Jesus and John Wayne, which is essentially about toxic masculinity and evangelicalism.

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u/Bee-Aromatic 14d ago

I’m a white cishet male and straight conservative Christian men scare me.

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u/kicktherobot 14d ago

Lmao dude you have the right to be afraid, theyre fucking scary.

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u/Up_vote_McSkrote 14d ago

I'm never around them without my anti-rape chastity pants personally.

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u/3_T_SCROAT 14d ago

I can't afford those, i usually just super glue my butt crack shut

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u/S4T4NICP4NIC 14d ago

I've found Gorilla Glue to be a much better adhesive.

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u/Salty_Truth1 14d ago

You gotta perty mouth

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u/nrnoble 14d ago

When I was in college, I met a very nice Christian girl who was 18-19 at the time. And she commented "When it comes to sex, many Christian guys are no different than any other straight guy, and are more likely to be a wolf in Christian clothing"

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u/isthisnamestupid 14d ago

As a middle aged, mostly WASP male, I feel the same

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u/lreaditonredditgetit 14d ago

Mixed black and white and middle aged. I fuck with them. But they do make me uneasy.

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u/whatdoyouwantit2be 14d ago

This! They’re always “trying” to protect us from people we’re not in danger of while ignoring the people we are actually in danger of.

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u/speedycat2014 14d ago

while ignoring being the people we are actually in danger of.

FTFY

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u/JunketGuy 14d ago

Christian here

Agree very much

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u/Sir_TrotsALot 14d ago

I’m a white Christian man who believes all humans/living things deserve love and respect. Those men who claim to be “christians” and live another way are not actually following Jesus teachings and it sickens me to see them even pretend to be Jesus followers. Jesus ain’t like that…and if you are, I want nothing to do with you.

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u/LudovicoSpecs 14d ago

Seriously.

When you want to just go dancing and not get harassed all night, you go to a gay bar. Just you, the music, and a bunch of men who will leave you alone.

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u/MadAstrid 14d ago

As a female teen one of the safest places to simply be - dancing, hanging out, shopping, drinking coffee, was in the gay part of town. Met great people sometimes, was never once pestered, never felt remotely unsafe. Lovely.

Second safest place was Tijuana, Mexico. In spite of the drinking, drug cartels and donkey shows, it was safer because navy personnel was not allowed to be over the border after sunset. All those good Christian swabbies who had never before left their home towns were no where to be seen. It was a huge relief.

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u/BigJSunshine 14d ago

I spent my thirties in the cocoon of my best friend’s group of friends and their community. I as their “ fruit fly”. I have never in all my life ever felt so safe, appreciated, loved and cared for than with those boys. They were my chrysalis, and without them I would have been lost.

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u/NyxNoxKnicks 14d ago

[“fruit fly”]

OMG! I love that, it’s adorable!

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u/butreallythough1012 14d ago

That is beautiful

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u/radiohoard 14d ago

This straight male had an AMAZING time in Hillcrest last night

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u/MadAstrid 14d ago

Genuinely smiled when I read this. I am so glad you enjoyed yourself.

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u/JGauth13 14d ago

And they will prolly compliment your shoes/outfit/hair/etc and you will have a blast - Gay men get it - I’ve never felt unsafe in a gay bar

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u/Local-Chart 14d ago

Yep, is why I always felt safe in a gay bar, I'm trans femme with some masc thrown in for good measure...

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u/Reishun 14d ago

ever thought that maybe in that situation you can be thought of as the harasser? These are gay bars after all, not "bars for women who don't want to get hit on", gay people may not want straight women invading their space. Don't get me wrong most gay people are probably very sympathetic and welcoming to straight women when it comes to this issue but I've seen a fair amount of gay people not too fond of an influx of straight people. Sometimes I see comments like "oh just go to a gay bar" and they don't even take into consideration whether gay people want them there. Gay people aren't a straight woman's accessory that exist to please them, they're normal people and maybe might want a bit of respect when there's discussion of entering their safe space as if it exists to cater to straight women.

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u/LudovicoSpecs 14d ago

This has absolutely crossed my mind. Which is why you don't do it all the time, read the room when you do and absolutely not act like a drunk sorority girl at a bachelorette party.

Serious sincere thanks to the gay men who overlook the "tourists."

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u/Atlas7674 14d ago

Bro I’m a guy and conservative Christian men make me feel uncomfortable too, it’s almost impressive how good they are at being creepy and hateful.

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u/Bartok_and_croutons 14d ago

My gay and trans friends treated my like a person, straight conservative christian men treated me like a problem. (Most of the time) Or like something that's just supposed to be pretty.

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u/CregChrist 14d ago

Don't forget about making babies too.

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u/superoboe87 14d ago

^ This. This is absolutely the only thing they give a crap about whatsoever from a woman

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u/BumblingGazelle 14d ago edited 14d ago

I live among many, many straight conservative Christian men and often feel unsafe.

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u/BigJSunshine 14d ago

ONE MILLION PERCENT ACCURATE, completely agree.

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u/Fit_Welcome1336 14d ago

Honestly as a student I feel most unsafe around the priest

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u/clemkaddidlehopper 14d ago Silver Take My Energy

I get what this person is intending, but I also feel like this is a little bit white knighting, infantilizing, and condescending. Trans and gay people are human too, and not all of them are nice or “safe.” There are some better and some worse individuals within these groups, just like with all groups of people.

There are some people — straight conservative Christian men, even — who may have values and priorities that vary vastly from my own, yet they may not be “unsafe” towards me.

I have been sexually harassed by a gay woman, for example. I didn’t come away from that experience thinking all gay women are bad — she was just a bad egg.

I have had plenty — many more — bad experiences with men who consider themselves to be straight conservative Christians as well, but I have also known some of these types of people who genuinely tried to love others the way they think God or Christ would.

I am an atheist who dislikes religion and the oppression that comes from it. I think forcing Christian conservative values on others in our society is misguided and toxic. However, I also don’t think it is healthy to put gay and trans people on a pedestal. If we want people to treat LGBTQ+ folks as human beings, we need to allow them to be imperfect .

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u/Plasma_Cosmo_9977 14d ago

Boys should feel unsafe around them too. Take a poll of alter boys, check that sample.

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u/tarabithia22 14d ago

Not intending to compete or hijack because I fully agree so much. If I may add also, hopefully without being ripped apart, because this is a good comment to add to is all, and not to detract at all from the importance of your point, there are so many religious women molesting girls too (and boys). It isn't discussed enough.

Most girls I know growing up including myself in christianity had women in the church groom or molest them. Or groom them on behalf of a man. I think boys being molested by women is discussed even less so.

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u/throw_every_away 14d ago

Cops. Cops make me feel unsafe.

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u/mygdygy 14d ago

Well you don’t choose to be gay. Conservative Christian’s go out of their way to hold on to narrow viewpoints and mindsets.

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u/RandomBlueJay01 14d ago

I feel so bad. I'm a trans dude and as I don't look like a dude 90% of the time (I get read as a lesbian more than a man) I still use the women's toilets. But sometimes when I do look like a guy I have accidentally scared women and I feel like a dick for existing but I'm too scared of change to use the men's room incase I just look like a woman.

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u/No_File_5225 14d ago

I feel that man, I'm sorry that you always have to feel so out of place, it's a really shitty feeling.

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u/saintcmb 14d ago

You are not a dick for existing! I know that feeling though, being a very large man I can often tell women are scared or intimidated by my presence. It sucks. I just have to remind myself not to take it personal and understand its probably a response to trauma.

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u/JGauth13 14d ago

I’m sorry you feel that way - You shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable for existing & I understand being scared to use the men’s room - Just keep shining your light my friend - I love you 💕

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u/pokey1984 14d ago edited 14d ago

Speaking as a women, get a pride pin or obviously feminine earrings or put a pink clip in your hair or something.

There are plenty of masculine looking women out there who aren't even trans. They're just buff ladies who don't lean towards anything traditionally feminine.

So when I run across someone who looks masculine and worries me, I check for any sign that they don't subscribe to toxic masculinity. If the person at the next sink has a little pink hairclip with a bow on it, I don't give a crap what's in their pants. No dude who is likely to abuse me will be wearing that clip. He wouldn't be caught dead in it.

You can be six foot six, 280 pounds with a head shining like a cue ball, but if you're wearing little butterfly earrings, I'm going to see you as "safe."

Because the dangerous guys treat anything "feminine" like it's kryptonite. And they are the one's we're scared of.

Edit to add: It has been pointed out that I misread the comment I replied to. I read the unfortunate dude's situation backward and I apologize. I stand by my advice, however, for any transitioning lady or non-binary who is afraid of making women feel unsafe. Or for any dude in that situation, for that matter. If you're big and muscley, get a pink hair clip and women will feel safer around you.

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u/RandomBlueJay01 14d ago

I mean i wear kinda androgynous makeup and nailpolish a lot. Doesn't help cus I feel like it just makes people assume I'm a trans woman and where I live that's no better than a man in the women's room. I'm screwed regardless. I just hope the people in my town are too nervous about judgement that they won't hurt me cus they misread the situation. Wouldn't be the first time . At this point I almost only use single stall restrooms or ones I think will be empty for my safety and the comfort of others.

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u/pokey1984 14d ago

I believe I misread your initial comment. I read your situation backwards, somehow. Oops?

I am sorry for the mistake.

The advice for using women's restrooms still stands, though. Very few women are going to fuss if you're wearing anything remotely feminine.

I live in a tiny, conservative town. (We still have Trump/Pence banners everywhere) But while the occasionally harpy will screech about trans folks and bathrooms, when it comes to the actual use of said toilets, no one really cares much. I may be in the minority, but I say keep using the ladies rooms if it makes you feel safer. Ladies rarely carry knives or other weapons and don't tend toward the pack mentality much. They'll complain, but won't likely actually hurt you.

Good luck, my friend.

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u/minotaur-cream 14d ago

I understand this, but also I was molested by my sisters gay friend 5 years older than me when I was a kid so... you know, just keep your guard up. People will be creeps regardless of sexual orientation.

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u/Catsarebigjerks 14d ago

Felt unsafe around gay men? No. Uncomfortable at parties? Twice yes.

Two gay men on separate occasions were aggressive about coming onto me even though I was there with my girlfriend. One even stuck his hand in my pants without consent...Couldn't take no for an answer and left shortly after in both cases.

So different experience I guess. But that being said, I'd feel unsafe about anyone following me home at night.

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u/Quentinh524 14d ago

I didn't know trans and gay people were incapable of doing wrong

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u/randomfool3 14d ago

My sibling who is so deep into the the LGBTQ movement that I don't even know what they fully identify as has tried to stab me multiple times. Along with that they have threatened to kill me multiple times and also went through with it one time. I sleep with my door locked and with a pocket knife under my pillow.

Just so we're clear I fully support the LGBTQ movement and think that people should be whoever they want to be, but it's not all good.

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u/drainagerelated 14d ago

Jeffrey Dahmer was gay

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u/wrecked-one 14d ago

I'm sure you would feel safe walking around Baltimore or Detroit at night though.

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u/Crim_Jamer69 14d ago

Ive been sexually assaulted by a gay man, don't generalise people.

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u/Deeker3000 14d ago

Try marrying only to find out he expected that both of us to be reborn Southern Baptist. The church was not friendly AT ALL. Phobia everything. Lasted 13 years. Gawd I was bored. Started having medical issues requiring prescription drugs. No no no… all you need is prayer. My boss was of the same impression. I have nothing against religion at all. Just don’t understand it. Happy and healthy with a great job and taking my sinful medications and living with an awesome boyfriend for the last 15 years. Yay! The judgment I endured. Yeah, um NO.

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u/Marplaar 14d ago

I mean this is just confirmation bias. My friend was drugged and raped while in high school by 2 gay men whom he knew through his part time job.

You get absolute shit humans on all sides of the spectrum.

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u/Tysiliogogogoch 14d ago

Anyone can be a shithead.

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u/QuailEffective9367 14d ago

Yeah - I thought it is considered a bit dehumanizing to treat certain groups of people like they can do no wrong

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u/crgresham 14d ago

White, male describes most serial killers

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u/ProudMaOfaSlut 14d ago

Queer people are also capable and sometimes guilty of rape, don't ignore the red flags.

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u/SkelyJack 14d ago

As a straight white man, so do I.

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u/joeythenose 14d ago

Projection is the cornerstone of right-wing politics

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